Stray thoughts of a man at age 78 plus – By N.S.Venkataraman
Sometimes, I feel unhappy about my parents for giving birth to me and bringing me into this world , which has needlessly exposed me to the vagaries of the world. The world would have lost nothing by myself not being born. In any case, this has happened without my consent !!! Was I born solely for my parents to meet their needs ?
Of course, the parents proudly introduced me to the world with sense of pride, satisfaction and achievement with everyone around congratulating my parents and applauding the efforts. At this time, I must have been lying in the cradle unaware of anything going around and not aware about the feast that everyone would enjoy in my name
My parents enabled me to grow reasonably well , to the extent that they could do so , based on their affordability. My parents showered their love and affection on me.
I have been witnessing the world events , where I too have been part of it for over 78 years now. In any case, it is clear to me now that I have been foolishly and thoughtlessly chasing a shadow, which is otherwise called as pleasure and wealth. Further, I have done the same act as my parents did and introduced children to the world. Of course, this has been done without the consent of my children !!!
Whatever I have attained or not attained in my 78 years plus life so far, mean nothing to me now and I am realizing that human life is nothing more than a mere time passing exercise. The entire life process appears to be in vacuum.
Soon, inevitably, my body would whither away and breathing would stop . Then, I would be remembered for a few days by friends and relatives and a little longer by my children and memory of me would gradually and steadily recede in their mind.
While most of the dead persons would be forgotten soon, however, in the case of a few persons, they would be “ remembered and honoured “ with posthumous awards and erection of statues and monuments , as if those dead persons would care for them or need them. Obviously, the dead persons who have gone nowhere would not be benefited in any way by such events nor would have any significance for them.
In any case, life of others who still live would go on counting me out , as billions of people have been counted out in the past. They would keep chasing the shadow as I have been doing for over 78 years now and just like the billions of people in the world who have chased the shadow and then passed away over the last thousands of years.
When death would finally happen with no one really knowing the destination, some religions say that dead person would go to hell or heaven. Some religions say that dead person would be born again and again and again , until he or she would lead blemish less life and “ merge himself /herself with God “. Who really know?
All religions uniformly advocate that all humans should believe without any doubt or hesitation about the existence of God, wherever He is and whatever He is
Answering a query as to where is God , some religions say that God is within everyone and one has to reach the God within by prolonged and sustained meditation with total faith. The religions term this as the consciousness to be realized within oneself.
It is further said that the proof of realization of God within oneself is experiencing the feeling of Ananda ( eternal bliss) that has to be felt to be understood.
Hindu religion says that Brahman ( God ) is not this nor that but this as well as that . Hindu religion further explains that the person in the process of experiencing mental feeling of Ananda would see nothing but Brahman out and out and find smooth and single minded path towards his goal of realizing God within .
Where does all these views leave the thought process of an ordinary and unrealized person like me?
Bhagawan Sri. Ramana Maharshi , one of the greatest saints who lived in India in 20th century , solved the puzzle by asking everyone to introspect on “Who am I “, that would pave the way to realise the fruitlessness of life process, promote mental attribute of detachment and enable to move towards the state of realizing God within oneself.
I started introspection on “who am I “ and the result is these “stray thoughts”.