{"id":106862,"date":"2023-01-05T17:03:27","date_gmt":"2023-01-05T17:03:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/?p=106862"},"modified":"2023-01-05T17:04:18","modified_gmt":"2023-01-05T17:04:18","slug":"never-trust-a-cricketer-by-desmond-kelly","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/never-trust-a-cricketer-by-desmond-kelly\/","title":{"rendered":"NEVER TRUST A CRICKETER – By Desmond Kelly."},"content":{"rendered":"

NEVER TRUST A CRICKETER – By Desmond Kelly.<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n

\"CRICKETER\"<\/p>\n

The title tells the story. Written by the wife of a Cricketer, who prefers to be anonymous (for obvious reasons), this poetic justice (or injustice<\/span><\/p>\n

depending on how you look at it), was kindly sent to me by Chris Lawton OMI who doesn’t play cricket anymore, but still has a wry sense of humour about the game,forwhich we thank him.<\/span><\/p>\n

Please read it, guys & dolls, balls & all,& tell us how you enjoyed this candid dislclosure of her husband and & his cricketing mates.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\"Desmond-Kelly\"\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Desmond Kelly. (Mr.Music)<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

(Editor-in-Chief) e’Lanka.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

\"CRICKETER\"<\/p>\n

Come all ye fair young maidens, harken unto me!<\/span>
\nNever trust a cricketer,<\/span>
\nwhoever he may be.<\/span><\/p>\n

Randier than a sailor<\/span>
\nwho’s been six months at sea,<\/span>
\nNever let a cricketer’s hand<\/span>
\nan inch above your knee.<\/span><\/p>\n

First let’s take the paceman,<\/span>
\npure speed from first to last,<\/span>
\nMy darlings do be careful;<\/span>
\nhis balls are hard and fast.<\/span><\/p>\n

Then there’s the medium pacer,<\/span>
\nhis balls swing either way;<\/span>
\nHe’s really most persistent<\/span>
\nand can keep it up all day!<\/span><\/p>\n

Watch out for the off-spinner girls, another awkward chap.<\/span>
\nIf you leave him half an opening,<\/span>
\nhe will slip one through the gap!<\/span><\/p>\n

Then there’s the wily ‘slowy’,<\/span>
\npure cunning is his strength;<\/span>
\nHe’ll tempt you, then he’ll trap you with his very subtle length.<\/span><\/p>\n

So ladies, do be careful,<\/span>
\nyour mothers would agree.<\/span>
\nNever trust a cricketer,<\/span>
\nwhoever he may be.<\/span><\/p>\n

And what about the opening bat, his struggles never cease!<\/span>
\nHe has only one ambition,<\/span>
\nto spend all day at the crease.<\/span><\/p>\n

The number three is a dasher,<\/span>
\nhe seldom prods and pokes.<\/span>
\nWhen he goes into action,<\/span>
\nhe has a fine array of strokes..<\/span><\/p>\n

And do beware the slogger,<\/span>
\nnot content with one or two;<\/span>
\nWhen he arrives at the crease<\/span>
\nthen only six will do.<\/span><\/p>\n

Then there’s the real stonewaller.<\/span>
\nGirls! he knows what he’s about;<\/span>
\nAnd if you let him settle in,<\/span>
\nit’s hard to get him out!<\/span><\/p>\n

We come now to the last man,<\/span>
\nI hope this will not shock,<\/span>
\nHe doesn’t mind if he’s last man in, as long as he gets a knock.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, darlings, do be careful,<\/span>
\nand be well warned by me:<\/span>
\nNever trust a cricketer,<\/span>
\nwhoever he may be.<\/span><\/p>\n

And watch the wicketkeeper.<\/span>
\nGirls! he’s full of flair and dash;<\/span>
\nAnd if you raise your heel,<\/span>
\nhe’ll whip them off in a flash.<\/span><\/p>\n

If you take the field with the capt’n, you had better know the score;\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Or he’ll have you in positions that you never knew before!<\/span><\/p>\n

The cricket commentator<\/span>
\nis a nasty sort of bloke,<\/span>
\nHe watches all the action<\/span>
\nand describes it stroke by stroke.<\/span><\/p>\n

Even the kindly umpire,<\/span>
\nwho looks as friendly as a pup;<\/span>
\nYou’ll quickly find you’ve had it, when he puts his finger up!<\/span><\/p>\n

So, darlings, please remember<\/span>
\nand repeat it after me:<\/span>
\n\u201cNEVER TRUST A CRICKETER, WHOEVER HE MAY BE!!!!!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

NEVER TRUST A CRICKETER – By Desmond Kelly. The title tells the story. Written by the wife of a Cricketer, who prefers to be anonymous (for obvious reasons), this poetic justice (or injustice depending on how you look at it), was kindly sent to me by Chris Lawton OMI who doesn’t play cricket anymore, but […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":106864,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"aside","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20,1104],"tags":[8452],"class_list":{"0":"post-106862","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-aside","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-articles","8":"category-desmond-kelly","9":"tag-cricketer","10":"post_format-post-format-aside"},"yoast_head":"\nNEVER TRUST A CRICKETER - By Desmond Kelly. - eLanka<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The title tells the story. 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