{"id":107216,"date":"2023-01-12T16:12:24","date_gmt":"2023-01-12T16:12:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/?p=107216"},"modified":"2023-01-12T16:12:53","modified_gmt":"2023-01-12T16:12:53","slug":"playing-with-puns-by-michael-roberts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/playing-with-puns-by-michael-roberts\/","title":{"rendered":"Playing with Puns-by Michael Roberts"},"content":{"rendered":"

Playing with Puns-by Michael Roberts<\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"elanka\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Source:<\/span><\/strong>Thuppahis<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

\"Michael<\/p>\n

From Lakshman & Sanath Jayatilaka:\u00a0<\/strong>To all connoisseurs of good puns<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMy ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is starting to improve\u201d<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

How does an attorney sleep? First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other side<\/span><\/p>\n

*************<\/span><\/p>\n

I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work<\/span><\/p>\n

\"elanka\"<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

How do you make holy water? You take some regular water & boil the hell out of it<\/span><\/p>\n

***************<\/span><\/p>\n

Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen<\/span><\/p>\n

***************<\/span><\/p>\n

What\u2019s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter<\/span><\/p>\n

**************<\/span><\/p>\n

Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, \u201cWhat\u2019s your favorite kind of music?\u201d The other says, \u201cI\u2019m a big metal fan.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

**************<\/span><\/p>\n

Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There\u2019s no menu \u2013 you get what you deserve<\/span><\/p>\n

***************<\/span><\/p>\n

I went to buy some camouflage trousers yesterday but couldn\u2019t find any<\/span><\/p>\n

***************<\/span><\/p>\n

What do you call a bee that can\u2019t make up its mind? A maybe<\/span><\/p>\n

***************<\/span><\/p>\n

I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage. I lost my case<\/span><\/p>\n

***************<\/span><\/p>\n

When everything is coming your way, you\u2019re in the wrong lane<\/span><\/p>\n

***************<\/span><\/p>\n

A cross-eyed teacher couldn\u2019t control his pupils<\/span><\/p>\n

***************<\/span><\/p>\n

She had a photographic memory but never developed it<\/span><\/p>\n

***************<\/span><\/p>\n

Is it ignorance or apathy that\u2019s destroying the world today? I don\u2019t know and don\u2019t really care<\/span><\/p>\n

**************<\/span><\/p>\n

I wasn\u2019t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind<\/span><\/p>\n

***************<\/span><\/p>\n

Which country\u2019s capital has the fastest-growing population? Ireland. Every day it\u2019s Dublin.<\/span><\/p>\n

***************<\/span><\/p>\n

My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is starting to improve<\/span><\/p>\n

***************<\/span><\/p>\n

The guy who invented the door knocker got a no-bell prize<\/span><\/p>\n

***************<\/span><\/p>\n

I saw an ad for burial plots, and I thought: \u201cThat\u2019s the last thing I need!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

***************<\/span><\/p>\n

Need an ark? I Noah guy<\/span><\/p>\n

***************<\/span><\/p>\n

I used to be indecisive; now I\u2019m not so sure<\/span><\/p>\n

***************<\/span><\/p>\n

Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed<\/span><\/p>\n

***************<\/span><\/p>\n

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing \u2013 but it let out a little whine<\/span><\/p>\n

**************<\/span><\/p>\n

What do you call a super articulate dinosaur? A Thesaurus.<\/span><\/p>\n

******************<\/span><\/p>\n

How does an attorney sleep? First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other side<\/span><\/p>\n

*************<\/span><\/p>\n

I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work<\/span><\/p>\n

**************<\/span><\/p>\n

How do you make holy water? You take some regular water & boil the hell out of it<\/span><\/p>\n

***************<\/span><\/p>\n

Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen<\/span><\/p>\n

***************<\/span><\/p>\n

What\u2019s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter<\/span><\/p>\n

**************<\/span><\/p>\n

Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, \u201cWhat\u2019s your favorite kind of music?\u201d The other says, \u201cI\u2019m a big metal fan.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

**************<\/span><\/p>\n

Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There\u2019s no menu \u2013 you get what you deserve<\/span><\/p>\n

***************<\/span><\/p>\n

I went to buy some camouflage trousers yesterday but couldn\u2019t find any<\/span><\/p>\n

***************<\/span><\/p>\n

What do you call a bee that can\u2019t make up its mind? A maybe<\/span><\/p>\n

***************<\/span><\/p>\n

I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage. I lost my case<\/span><\/p>\n

***************<\/span><\/p>\n

When everything is coming your way, you\u2019re in the wrong lane<\/span><\/p>\n

***************<\/span><\/p>\n

A cross-eyed teacher couldn\u2019t control his pupils<\/span><\/p>\n

***************<\/span><\/p>\n

She had a photographic memory but never developed it<\/span><\/p>\n

***************<\/span><\/p>\n

Is it ignorance or apathy that\u2019s destroying the world today? I don\u2019t know and don\u2019t really care<\/span><\/p>\n

**************<\/span><\/p>\n

I wasn\u2019t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind<\/span><\/p>\n

***************<\/span><\/p>\n

Which country\u2019s capital has the fastest-growing population? Ireland. Every day it\u2019s Dublin.<\/span><\/p>\n

***************<\/span><\/p>\n

My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is starting to improve<\/span><\/p>\n

***************<\/span><\/p>\n

The guy who invented the door knocker got a no-bell prize<\/span><\/p>\n

***************<\/span><\/p>\n

I saw an ad for burial plots, and I thought: \u201cThat\u2019s the last thing I need!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

***************<\/span><\/p>\n

Need an ark? I Noah guy<\/span><\/p>\n

***************<\/span><\/p>\n

I used to be indecisive; now I\u2019m not so sure<\/span><\/p>\n

***************<\/span><\/p>\n

Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed<\/span><\/p>\n

***************<\/span><\/p>\n

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing \u2013 but it let out a little whine<\/span><\/p>\n

**************<\/span><\/p>\n

What do you call a super articulate dinosaur? A Thesaurus.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Playing with Puns-by Michael Roberts   Source:Thuppahis From Lakshman & Sanath Jayatilaka:\u00a0To all connoisseurs of good puns \u201cMy ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is starting to improve\u201d How does an attorney sleep? First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other side ************* I have a few jokes about unemployed […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":107217,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"aside","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20,42710],"tags":[50621,50622],"class_list":{"0":"post-107216","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-aside","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-articles","8":"category-michael-roberts","9":"tag-playing-with-puns","10":"tag-sanath-jayatilaka","11":"post_format-post-format-aside"},"yoast_head":"\nPlaying with Puns-by Michael Roberts<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"From Lakshman & Sanath Jayatilaka:\u00a0To all connoisseurs of good puns\u201cMy ex-wife still misses me. 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