{"id":110819,"date":"2023-03-20T17:06:15","date_gmt":"2023-03-20T17:06:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/?p=110819"},"modified":"2023-03-20T17:06:15","modified_gmt":"2023-03-20T17:06:15","slug":"i-disappeared-because-it-was-easier-not-to-be-there-hugh-van-cuylenburg-by-robyn-doreian","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/i-disappeared-because-it-was-easier-not-to-be-there-hugh-van-cuylenburg-by-robyn-doreian\/","title":{"rendered":"\u2018I disappeared because it was easier not to be there\u2019: Hugh Van Cuylenburg – By Robyn Doreian"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u2018I disappeared because it was easier not to be there\u2019: Hugh Van Cuylenburg – By Robyn Doreian<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n

Source :\u00a0smh<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

Hugh Van Cuylenberg is a writer and podcaster best known as the founder of The Resilience Project. The 42-year-old opens up about learning to support loved ones through tough times, why his mother is his mentor, and his marriage.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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\"Dr<\/a>
<\/span> \u201cMum always validated what I was feeling. She\u2019d help me find the emotion that lay beneath a problem and work towards the solution.\u201d<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/figure>\n
\n

To this day,<\/strong>\u00a0my paternal grandmother,<\/strong>\u00a0June, is the person who\u2019s made me laugh the most. She called me \u201cHugh Boy\u201d in her beautiful Sri Lankan accent. She was full of jokes and often forgot the punchline, but it didn\u2019t matter.<\/span><\/p>\n

Granny wowed<\/strong>\u00a0our family with her curries but my favourite thing was the vanilla ice-cream she gave me and my younger siblings, Georgia and Josh, afterwards. It was always half-melted, as her freezer didn\u2019t work properly, but we got so excited. She showed me what unconditional love looked and felt like.<\/span><\/p>\n

My maternal grandmother,<\/strong>\u00a0Joan, was a bit more formal but I knew she loved me because hers are still the warmest cuddles I\u2019ve had. She was an extraordinary cook and I often play different characters when I\u2019m putting my kids \u2013 Benji, 6, Elsie, 3, and Patrick, 10 months \u2013 to bed. One is named Cook-a-Roast Joan in honour of her roast dinners.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
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My mother, Elizabeth,<\/strong>\u00a0is a teacher but she\u2019s also my longest-standing mentor and teacher in life. She\u2019s fiercely intelligent and remains an inspiringly committed mother. Through her constant and loving emotional check-ins, she taught me the superpower of emotional intelligence. She showed me how to show up for people when they are struggling.<\/span><\/p>\n

Mum always validated<\/strong>\u00a0what I was feeling. She\u2019d help me find the emotion that lay beneath a problem and work towards the solution. I\u2019m in awe of what she modelled, because my instinct as a parent is to the fix the problem straight away, but that is not the way to do it.<\/span><\/p>\n

My sister, Georgia,<\/strong>\u00a0is the strongest person I know. We\u2019ve been through a lot together and love each other dearly, but growing up, her struggles with anorexia were too much for me at times. I disappeared because it was easier not to be there.<\/span><\/p>\n

I was with Georgia<\/strong>\u00a0when she was taken from my grandparents\u2019 front yard and sexually assaulted at age three. I felt ashamed that I didn\u2019t do anything, but I was only six. Her forgiveness has set me free as an adult.<\/span><\/p>\n

My first celebrity crush<\/strong>\u00a0was Cathy Freeman; as a kid, I had two posters of her on my wall. I\u2019d worked out that she was eight years older than me, and I was hopeful that didn\u2019t mean we couldn\u2019t marry one day.<\/span><\/p>\n

My first love<\/strong>\u00a0was Christie, whom I met at Carey Baptist Grammar in Melbourne. It was my first experience of being in love and felt incredible. We were together for two years.<\/span><\/p>\n

I was in my second year<\/strong>\u00a0of an undergraduate degree when I met Anjali. I was blown away by her looks. We became best friends for probably 18 months. When we drifted away from our respective partners, our romantic relationship got serious very fast.<\/span><\/p>\n

Anjali pushed me<\/strong>\u00a0out of my comfort zone and we went to northern India, where we did volunteer teaching. It was the most challenging thing I\u2019ve ever done, and everything I now do professionally, I owe to her. We are still very close.<\/span><\/p>\n

I met my wife, Penny,<\/strong>\u00a0when she was 13 and went on a one-off date with my brother, Josh. We reconnected 17 years later via Facebook. I\u2019d been single for about six years when we met for coffee in Melbourne. After 10 minutes, I knew I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life. She made me feel I was enough. I felt safe around her. Her smile was also impossibly beautiful.<\/span><\/p>\n

Penny is a writer<\/strong>\u00a0and is working on a book about her journey with obsessive-compulsive disorder. There have been times when it\u2019s been hard for her to leave the house, but I\u2019ve never seen anyone fight so hard. She\u2019s determined to stay on top of it, so she can be a good partner and a good mum.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hugh van Cuylenburg:\u00a0G.E.M<\/em><\/a>\u00a0is available on Prime Video and as an Audible Original.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u2018I disappeared because it was easier not to be there\u2019: Hugh Van Cuylenburg – By Robyn Doreian Source :\u00a0smh Hugh Van Cuylenberg is a writer and podcaster best known as the founder of The Resilience Project. The 42-year-old opens up about learning to support loved ones through tough times, why his mother is his mentor, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":110820,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"aside","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[51822,51821],"class_list":{"0":"post-110819","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-aside","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-articles","8":"tag-cathy-freeman","9":"tag-hugh-van-cuylenberg","10":"post_format-post-format-aside"},"yoast_head":"\n\u2018I disappeared because it was easier not to be there\u2019: Hugh Van Cuylenburg - By Robyn Doreian - eLanka<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Hugh Van Cuylenberg is a writer and podcaster best known as the founder of The Resilience Project. 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