New South Wales<\/strong><\/span> Queensland<\/strong><\/span> Tasmania<\/strong><\/span> South Australia<\/span><\/p>\n The young man from SA came running into the store and said to his mate, \u201cJohnno, somebody just stole your ute from the parking lot!\u201d<\/span> Western Australia<\/strong><\/span> Victoria<\/strong><\/span> Australian States – jokes New South Wales A senior citizen drove his brand new Holden Senator out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 120 kph, enjoying the power of the car . \u201cAmazing,\u201d he thought as he flew down the M1, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[1099],"class_list":{"0":"post-12128","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-articles","7":"tag-jokes-from-the-aussies"},"yoast_head":"\n
\n A senior citizen drove his brand new Holden Senator out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 120 kph, enjoying the power of the car .<\/span>
\n \u201cAmazing,\u201d he thought as he flew down the M1, pushing the pedal even more.<\/span>
\n Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a highway patrol car, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.<\/span>
\n He floored it to 140 kph, then 180kph, then suddenly he thought, \u201cWhat am I doing? I\u2019m too old for this!\u201d and pulled over to await the copper\u2019s arrival.<\/span>
\n Pulling in behind him, the copper got out of his vehicle and walked up to the car. He looked at his watch, then said, \u201cSir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday<\/span><\/span>. If you can give me a new reason for speeding \u2013 a reason I\u2019ve never before heard \u2013 I\u2019ll let you go..\u201d<\/span>
\n The old gentleman paused then said, \u201cThirty three years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman, I thought you were bringing her back.\u201d<\/span>
\n \u201cHave a good day, Sir,\u201d replied the copper.<\/span><\/p>\n
\n The owner of a golf course on the Gold Coast was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.<\/span>
\n He called her into his office and said, \u201cYou graduated from the University of Queensland and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?\u201d<\/span>
\n The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, \u201cEverything but my earrings.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n
\n A senior citizen in Tasmania was overheard saying, \u201cWhen the end of the world comes, I hope to be here.\u201d<\/span>
\n When asked why, he replied, \u201cI\u2019d rather be in Tasmania \u2018cause everything happens in Tasmania 20 years later<\/span><\/span> than in the rest of the world.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n
\n Johnno replied, \u201cDid ya see who it was?\u201d<\/span>
\n The young man answered, \u201cI couldn\u2019t tell, but I got the licence plate number.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n
\n A WA highway patrol pulled over a car on the main road. The copper asked, \u201cGot any ID?\u201d<\/span>
\n The driver replied, \u201cabout what?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n
\n The copper pulled up next to the bloke unloading garbage out of his ute into the ditch.<\/span>
\n The copper asked, \u201cWhy are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don\u2019t you see that sign right over your head.\u201d<\/span>
\n \u201cYep,\u201d he replied.<\/span>
\n \u201cThat\u2019s why I\u2019m dumpin\u2019 it here, \u2018cause it says: \u2018Fine For Dumping Garbage.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"