{"id":137202,"date":"2024-06-17T16:53:57","date_gmt":"2024-06-17T16:53:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/?p=137202"},"modified":"2024-06-17T16:55:07","modified_gmt":"2024-06-17T16:55:07","slug":"noel-news-61","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/noel-news-61\/","title":{"rendered":"Noel News"},"content":{"rendered":"<h2 style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Noel News<\/span><\/h2>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\"><strong>Special Bulletin<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\"><strong>The philosophy of the rich versus the poor is this ; the rich invest their money and spend what\u2019s left; the poor spend their money and invest what\u2019s left.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\"><strong>This is a special bulletin because I want to tell you about a webinar I\u2019m doing next Thursday. But first, let\u2019s start with an amazing story.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\"><strong>The passbook that grew<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-137203\" src=\"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/Noel-News-01-1-e1718640940406.jpg\" alt=\"Noel News 01\" width=\"600\" height=\"348\" \/><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">Image by Micheile Henderson on Unsplash<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">Thirty-seven years ago I released <a style=\"color: #000000;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.noelwhittaker.com.au\/product\/making-money-made-simple-new-edition\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Making Money Made Simple<\/a>, a book which has transformed the lives of thousands of Australians, and been named one of the 100 most influential books of the 20th century. Even now, seldom a day passes when I don&#8217;t receive emails from people telling me how much that book changed their lives. As of today the book has sold over 2 million copies, and we\u2019ve just released the 25th edition. The information is as relevant now as it ever was.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">One feature of that book was the suggestion that people pay their loans fortnightly instead of monthly. The banks scoffed then, but they had missed the main point \u2013 if you&#8217;re paying $2,000 a month and move to $1,000 a fortnight you have increased your repayments from $24,000 a year to $26,000 a year. That\u2019s an extra $2,000 a year off your mortgage and you haven\u2019t even missed it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">This led to my next concept \u2013 which I call the guaranteed secret of wealth. Put simply: you never miss money that you don\u2019t see. That is, you don\u2019t miss money that is deducted from your account automatically.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-137204\" src=\"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/Noel-News-02-1-e1718641055550.jpg\" alt=\"Noel News\" width=\"600\" height=\"503\" \/><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">Illustration by John Shakespeare for SMH<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">Back in 1993, to practise what I was preaching, I opened a savings account with Heritage Bank. In it I captured all the money I received that was not salary or investment income. This included things like tax refunds, automatic payments from health funds on the rare occasions I went to the doctor and even the one-off $1000 payment I got from Centrelink when the 2011 floods hit Brisbane.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">It was fun to use the passbook, as I also enjoyed going into the Heritage Branch and chatting to the staff about my guaranteed secret of wealth while I watched the balance rise as they updated the passbook. Every time the balance hit $10,000 I withdrew that amount and paid it off a loan I had for an investment property. Using that strategy the investment property was paid off effortlessly \u2013 I would probably still have that loan if I had not used the guaranteed secret of wealth.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">Recently, reflecting on this, I decided to find out exactly how much money had gone through that account in those 20 years. It was just a matter of going through all the old passbooks and adding up the withdrawals. Can you believe, in 20 years I had banked and withdrawn over $283,000! That\u2019s how much I had managed to put away just by capturing all those relatively small amounts that normally end up in the everyday bank account and get frittered away.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-137205\" src=\"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/Noel-News-03-e1718641504807.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"533\" \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">In a few weeks, everybody will have a fatter pay packet because the tax rates are changing. Good money managers will put the extra money to good use by immediately increasing their home loan repayments by the amount of the tax cut, or by boosting their tax-deductible superannuation contributions. Remember, on 1 July the deductible contributions cap rises from $27,500 a year to $30,000 a year.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">But before July has even finished, most people will have automatically increased their expenditure to soak up the tax cut, or will be wondering how they ever existed before the tax cuts happened. This is why, whenever I talk about budgeting I say: make investment your first expense. If you just give it a go, I promise you will be amazed by the result. You won\u2019t be stuck \u2013 nothing stops you from pausing or ending the deduction. You could consider the money an emergency fund, if it helps, but unless you try it for yourself, you will never see how this concept really does work a kind of magic.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-137206 alignleft\" src=\"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/Noel-News-04-e1718641663910.jpg\" alt=\"Noel News\" width=\"300\" height=\"462\" \/>Get the ultimate guide to money, investment, borrowing and personal finance and experience the magic for yourself.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\"><strong>Webinar<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">Independence and choice are key to a happy and productive retirement. But many retirees have a \u2018FORO\u2019 (fear of running out of money), others simply feel they can\u2019t control their finances while facing higher costs of living, volatile interest rates and share market uncertainty.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">We all know that money can\u2019t buy happiness, but it can go a long way towards making you happy with freedom, security, and the power to pursue your dreams.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">That\u2019s why I\u2019d love you to join me in a webinar to discuss ways to Gain Control of Your Retirement. It\u2019s the first in Household Capital\u2019s five-part webinar series aimed to help you take control of your own retirement by understanding the basics of the Age Pension, super, government rules and the role the home plays in your income.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-137207\" src=\"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/Noel-News-05-e1718641789493.png\" alt=\"Noel News\" width=\"600\" height=\"600\" \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">Webinar host, Kaye Fallick, and I will discuss these \u2018levers\u2019 of retirement funding and answer your questions along the way. I will also be giving away five copies of my latest book, \u2018Wills, death and taxes made simple\u2019.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">The webinar is free \u2013 all you need to do is register here:<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"color: #000000; font-size: 16px;\"><a style=\"color: #000000;\" href=\"https:\/\/householdcapital.com.au\/knowledge-centre\/webinars\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Register Now<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">Join us on Thursday June 20 at 2pm for a lively discussion and explanation of the different levers of retirement income. This just may be the best 45 minutes you\u2019ve ever spent! You\u2019re very welcome to invite friends to attend as well and send any retirement income questions beforehand.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\"><strong>The journey of life<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">Recently we saw that wonderful movie The Great Escaper which is a 2023 biographical drama film starring Michael Caine and Glenda Jackson. It is based on the true story of 89-year-old British World War II Royal Navy veteran Bernard Jordan who &#8220;broke out&#8221; of his nursing home to attend the 70th anniversary D-Day commemorations in France in June 2014. It was showing in cinemas the couple of months ago but we got ours by buying a Blu-ray copy. We found it very moving, it really shows the stages of life given that Michael Caine is always shown on a walking frame.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">Then one of my readers sent me this photo which touched my heart.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-137208\" src=\"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/Noel-News-06-1-e1718641928499.jpg\" alt=\"Noel News\" width=\"600\" height=\"730\" \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">It made me think about one of my favourite pieces of poetry The Seven Ages of Man from As You Like It by William Shakespeare. It\u2019s reproduced below \u2013 take a moment to think about it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">All the world\u2019s a stage,<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">And all the men and women merely players;<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">They have their exits and their entrances,<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">And one man in his time plays many parts,<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">His acts being seven ages.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">At first the infant,<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">Mewling and puking in the nurse\u2019s arms;<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">And then the whining schoolboy, with his satchel<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">And shining morning face, creeping like snail<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">Unwillingly to school.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">And then the lover,<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">Made to his mistress\u2019 eyebrow.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">Then a soldier,<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard,<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">Seeking the bubble reputation<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">Even in the cannon\u2019s mouth.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">And then the justice,<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">In fair round belly with good capon lined,<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">Full of wise saws and modern instances;<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">And so he plays his part.<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">The sixth age shifts\u2028Into the lean and slippered pantaloon,<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">With spectacles on nose and pouch on side;<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">Turning again toward childish treble, pipes<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">And whistles in his sound.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">Last scene of all,<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">That ends this strange eventful history,<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">Is second childishness and mere oblivion,<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-137209\" src=\"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/Noel-News-07-1-e1718642030499.jpg\" alt=\"Noel News\" width=\"600\" height=\"323\" \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">We need to understand that the ageing process is inevitable but as I wrote in Retirement Made Simple there is much the average person can do to help make the last 20 years of their life enjoyable and comfortable.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">The key factors are exercise, diet, a sense of purpose and being part of a social network. These topics are explained in detail in the last chapter of Retirement Made Simple called Happiness and Fulfilment. Make sure you read it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\"><strong>The Executors Cheat Sheet<br \/>\n<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">We hope it will be finished at the end of this week. We\u2019ve been focused on completing a completely new Superannuation Made Simple which has to be on the printing processes in time for the major changes which are happening on 1 July. Once we have a firm delivery date for the new book we will be giving you a special offer. In the meantime, the old book has been removed from our website.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\"><strong>Pension changes<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">The latest quarterly pension adjustments have been published, and as usual my website was the first to have them. The pension itself is unchanged but the thresholds have been increased. The bottom threshold for a homeowner couple has increased from $451,500 to $470,000 and the couples cut off point has gone from $1,254,500 to $1,283,000. For singles the figures are $314,000 and $686,250.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">The easiest way to work out the increase you&#8217;re going to get is to use the <a style=\"color: #000000;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.noelwhittaker.com.au\/calculators\/age-pension-calculator\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Age Pension Calculator\u00a0 <\/a>on my website and download the pension charts which are updated for the new figures.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">You can find the latest version on my free downloads page any time or use the link below to download directly:<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"color: #000000; font-size: 16px;\"><a style=\"color: #000000;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.noelwhittaker.com.au\/free-downloads\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Download Pension Rate Charts<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"color: #000000; font-size: 16px;\"><a style=\"color: #000000;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.noelwhittaker.com.au\/calculators\/age-pension-calculator\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Try Age Pension Calculator<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-137210\" src=\"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/Noel-News-08-1.jpg\" alt=\"Noel News\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">If you find this helpful, you&#8217;re sure to find Retirement Made Simple indispensable for navigating the rest of your decisions.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\"><strong>From the Mailbox<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">Great book mate!<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">I&#8217;m only up to page 86 and I&#8217;m running out of post it notes to attach to the relevant points.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-137211\" src=\"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/Noel-News-09-e1718642709266.jpg\" alt=\"Noel News\" width=\"600\" height=\"334\" \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">We did visit our Solicitor about 5 years ago who is a &#8220;Wills, estates and probate specialist&#8221;, but a warning to all is that the Will she drafted has glaring omissions (hence the post it note reminders) that you point out in your book.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">Time for a Will update and possibly a Solicitor change.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-137212\" src=\"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/Noel-News-10-e1718642876849.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"456\" \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\"><strong>And Finally<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\"><strong>DC &#8220;Ticket Agent&#8221; &#8211; Say WHAT?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-137213\" src=\"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/Noel-News-11-1-e1718642953429.jpg\" alt=\"Noel News\" width=\"600\" height=\"383\" \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">Image by Drazen Zigic on Freepik<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn&#8217;t get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!!)<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman&#8217;s (Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to Cape Town. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me with, &#8221;I&#8217;m not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape Town is in Massachusetts&#8221;.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, &#8221;Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Cape Town is in South Africa.&#8221; His response \u2014 click*.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a Florida holiday package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that&#8217;s not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">He replied, &#8220;Don&#8217;t lie to me! I looked on the map, and Florida is a very THIN state!!&#8221; (OMG)<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">4. I got a call from a lawmaker&#8217;s wife (Landra Reid) who asked, &#8221;Is it possible to see England from Canada?&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">I said, &#8221;No.&#8221; She said, &#8221;But they look so close on the map&#8221; (OMG, again!)<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">5. An aide for a cabinet member (Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, &#8221;I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m, and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn&#8217;t understand the concept of time zones.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler&#8230; he\u2019s a real winner!!) called and asked, &#8221;Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?&#8221; I said, &#8220;No, why do you ask?&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">He replied, &#8221;Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I&#8217;m overweight.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">I think that&#8217;s very rude!\u2019&#8217;<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, Ca is FAT &#8211; (Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, &#8221;Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright from Ala who asked, &#8221;How do I know which plane to get on?&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, &#8221;I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">10. Senator Dianne Feinstein called and said, &#8221;I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola and fly on a commuter plane.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">She said, &#8221;Yeah, whatever, smarty!&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">11. Mary Landrieu, LA. Senator, called and had a question about the documents she needed in order to fly to China .<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa. &#8220;Oh, no I don&#8217;t. I&#8217;ve been to China many times and never had to have one of those.&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her this she said, &#8221;Look, I&#8217;ve been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">12. A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations, &#8221;I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York.&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, &#8221;Are you sure that&#8217;s the name of the town?\u2019&#8217;<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">&#8216;Yes, what flights do you have?&#8221; replied the man.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">After some searching, I came back with, &#8221;I&#8217;m sorry, sir, I&#8217;ve looked up every airport code in the country and can&#8217;t find a rhino anywhere.&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">&#8221;The man retorted, &#8221;Oh, don&#8217;t be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!&#8221; So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, &#8221;You don&#8217;t mean Buffalo, do you?&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #000000;\">The reply? &#8221;Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-114072\" src=\"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/Noel-Whittaker.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"400\" \/><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline; color: #0000ff;\"><a style=\"color: #0000ff;\" href=\"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/elanka-newsletter-sign-up\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: 18px;\">Click here to receive your free copy of the eLanka Newsletter twice a week delivered directly to your inbox!<\/span><\/strong><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Noel News Special Bulletin The philosophy of the rich versus the poor is this ; the rich invest their money and spend what\u2019s left; the poor spend their money and invest what\u2019s left. This is a special bulletin because I want to tell you about a webinar I\u2019m doing next Thursday. But first, let\u2019s start [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":137203,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"aside","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[65886,29468],"class_list":{"0":"post-137202","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-aside","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-articles","8":"tag-john-kerry","9":"tag-noel-news","10":"post_format-post-format-aside"},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v25.7.1 (Yoast SEO v25.9) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Noel News<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The philosophy of the rich versus the poor is this ; the rich invest their money and spend what\u2019s left; the poor spend their money\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Noel News\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The philosophy of the rich versus the poor is this ; 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