{"id":15183,"date":"2017-02-08T04:37:38","date_gmt":"2017-02-08T04:37:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/?p=15183"},"modified":"2017-02-08T04:37:38","modified_gmt":"2017-02-08T04:37:38","slug":"life-funnysometimes-desmond-kelly-star-elanka","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/life-funnysometimes-desmond-kelly-star-elanka\/","title":{"rendered":"LIFE IS FUNNY,SOMETIMES by Desmond Kelly \u201c the Star of eLanka\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"<h1 style=\"text-align: center;\">LIFE IS FUNNY,SOMETIMES<\/h1>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">by Desmond Kelly \u201c the Star of eLanka\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/desmond-1-1-1.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-13515\" src=\"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/desmond-1-1-1.jpg\" alt=\"desmond kelly\" width=\"125\" height=\"178\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 20px;\">My dear readers of eLanka everywhere, I love women, am certainly not homophobic in any sense of the word, but, as I have written before, I now reiterate some of the facts why, on the whole, men seem to be less.depressed than women.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 20px;\">NICKNAMES. If Laura, Kate &amp; Sarah go out to lunch, they still refer to each other by their Christian names, but if Mike, Dave &amp; John go out, they affectionately call each other &#8220;fat-boy&#8221;, &#8220;Bubba&#8221; &amp; &#8220;Dick-head&#8221;.<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: 20px;\">Older women &#8220;get together&#8221; for their &#8220;hens parties&#8221; etc. They seem fonder of &#8220;elite&#8221; names for their &#8220;groups&#8221;, but I do believe that there.is a &#8220;club&#8221; for men in Sydney Australia that call themselves &#8220;the old bastards&#8221;. To go even further with this, if these Aussies meet in the Street, the expected cordial greeting would always be &#8220;hello, you old bastard&#8221;, believe it or not, this is true.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 20px;\">EATING OUT.. When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave &amp; John will each throw in a 20$ note even though the total amount is $42.50. They do not expect any &#8220;change&#8221;. When the &#8220;girls&#8221; get their bill, out come the pocket-calculators.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 20px;\">MONEY. A man will pay $2, for $1 item he needs A woman, on the other hand will pay $1 for a $2 item she does not need, but is &#8220;on-sale&#8221;.<\/span><!--more--><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 20px;\">BATHROOMS. A man has but six items in his. A toothbrush, toothpaste, some shaving cream, razor, bar of soap &amp; a towel. A woman will have an average of 337, of which a man might be able to identify about 20.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 20px;\">ARGUMENTS. A woman always has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that, is simply the beginning of a new argument.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 20px;\">THE FUTURE. A woman worries about the future, until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 20px;\">MARRIAGE. A woman marries a man expecting him to &#8220;change&#8221;, but, of course, he doesn&#8217;t. A man marries a woman, expecting her not to change, but, of course, she does.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 20px;\">DRESSING-UP. A woman usually dresses-up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book &amp; get the mail. A man dresses-up to go for weddings &amp; funerals.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 20px;\">OFF-SPRING. Ah, children, A woman knows everything about her children, their dentist appointnents, their romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears, hopes &amp; dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some &#8220;short people&#8221; living in the house.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 20px;\">THOUGHT FOR THE DAY. A married man should forget his mistakes. There is absolutely no use in two people remembering the same thing.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 20px;\">MEN ARE JUST &#8220;HAPPIER PEOPLE&#8221;.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 20px;\">What do you expect from such simple creatures? <\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: 20px;\">Your &#8220;last-name&#8221; stays put, the garage is all yours.<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: 20px;\">Wedding plans take care of themselves, Chocolate is just another &#8220;snack&#8221;. You could be President but you never could be pregnant. You do the same work for more pay, your &#8220;wrinkles&#8221; just add character. People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them.<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: 20px;\">You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys for all of your life.You can do your Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24th in 25 minutes. Yes, men are just happier people.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 20px;\">Desmond Kelly.<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: 20px;\"> &#8220;Star of eLanka&#8221;.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>LIFE IS FUNNY,SOMETIMES by Desmond Kelly \u201c the Star of eLanka\u201d My dear readers of eLanka everywhere, I love women, am certainly not homophobic in any sense of the word, but, as I have written before, I now reiterate some of the facts why, on the whole, men seem to be less.depressed than women. NICKNAMES. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20,1104],"tags":[739,1391],"class_list":{"0":"post-15183","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-articles","7":"category-desmond-kelly","8":"tag-desmond-kelly","9":"tag-life-is-funny"},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v25.7.1 (Yoast SEO v25.9) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>LIFE IS FUNNY,SOMETIMES by Desmond Kelly \u201c the Star of eLanka\u201d<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"LIFE IS FUNNY,SOMETIMES by Desmond Kelly \u201c the Star of eLanka\u201d\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" 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