{"id":2409,"date":"2015-07-10T09:01:43","date_gmt":"2015-07-10T09:01:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/?p=2409"},"modified":"2015-07-10T09:01:43","modified_gmt":"2015-07-10T09:01:43","slug":"elanka-jokes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/elanka-jokes\/","title":{"rendered":"eLanka Jokes"},"content":{"rendered":"

One laugh per day is better than eating one apple a day….<\/strong><\/p>\n

A man was granted two wishes by God. <\/strong>
\nHe asked for the best drink and the best woman ever. <\/strong>
\nHe got mineral water and Mother Teresa. <\/strong>
\n. . . . . . . . . . .<\/strong>
\nThere are three kinds of men in this world.<\/strong>
\nSome remain single and make wonders happen.<\/strong>
\nSome have girlfriends and see wonders happen.<\/strong>
\nThe rest get married and wonder what happened!<\/strong>
\n. . . . . . . . . . .<\/strong>
\nWives are magicians. They can turn anything into an argument.<\/strong>
\n. . . . . . . . . . .<\/strong>
\nWhen asked in class; Why do women live a better, longer and a more peaceful life than men?<\/strong>
\nA very INTELLIGENT student replied:<\/strong>
\n“Because women don’t have wives!”<\/strong>
\n. . . . . . . . . . .<\/strong>
\nHusband to his wife: “Honey… I’ve invited a friend home for supper.”<\/strong>
\nWife: “What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven’t been shopping, all the dishes are dirty and I don’t feel like cooking a fancy meal!”<\/strong>
\nHusband: “I know all that.”<\/strong>
\nWife: “Then why did you invite a friend home for supper?”<\/strong>
\nHusband: “Because the poor fool is thinking of getting married!” <\/strong>
\n. . . . . . . . . . .<\/strong> <\/p>\n

Cool message to mother-in-law: <\/strong>
\n“Dear Mother-in-law, Don’t teach me how to handle my children. I am living with one of yours and he needs a lot of improvement<\/u>!” <\/strong>
\n. . . . . . . . . . .<\/strong>
\nWhen a married man replies; “I’ll think a bout it.” — What he really means is that he hasn’t asked his wife for permission yet!<\/strong>
\n. . . . . . . . . . .<\/strong>
\nA lady says to her doctor: “My husband has a habit of talking<\/u> in his sleep! What should I give him to cure it?” <\/strong>
\nThe doctor replies: “Give him the opportunity to speak while he’s awake!”<\/strong><\/p>\n

——————————————–<\/p>\n

A Man\/Woman Conversation!<\/strong><\/b><\/p>\n

Lady: Do you drink beer?
\nMan: Yes<\/p>\n

Lady: How many beers a day?<\/p>\n

Man: Usually about 3<\/p>\n

Lady: How much do you pay per beer?<\/p>\n

Man: $5 with a tip<\/p>\n

Lady: And how long have you been drinking?<\/p>\n

Man: 20 years, I suppose<\/p>\n

Lady: So a beer costs $5 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your
\nspending each month at $450. In one year, it would be $5400 correct?<\/p>\n

Man: Correct<\/p>\n

Lady: If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the past
\n20 years puts your spending at $108,000, correct?<\/p>\n

Man: Correct<\/p>\n

Lady: Do you know that if you didn’t drink so much beer, that money could
\nhave been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting
\nfor
\ncompound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a
\nFerrari?<\/p>\n

Man: Do you drink beer?<\/p>\n

Lady: No<\/p>\n

Man: Where’s your Ferrari?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

One laugh per day is better than eating one apple a day…. A man was granted two wishes by God. He asked for the best drink and the best woman ever. He got mineral water and Mother Teresa. . . . . . . . . . . . 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