{"id":31252,"date":"2018-11-29T06:00:59","date_gmt":"2018-11-29T06:00:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/?p=31252"},"modified":"2018-12-02T19:56:06","modified_gmt":"2018-12-02T19:56:06","slug":"what-a-lot-of-bull-by-des-kelly","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/what-a-lot-of-bull-by-des-kelly\/","title":{"rendered":"&#8220;WHAT A LOT OF BULL&#8221;? &#8211; By Des Kelly"},"content":{"rendered":"<h1 style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #003300;\">&#8220;WHAT A LOT OF BULL&#8221;? &#8211; By Des Kelly<\/span><\/h1>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/nlIEoKg8ZQg\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"color: #0000ff; font-size: 20px;\">We have some &#8220;BREAKING NEWS&#8221; which is not just &#8220;bull&#8221; in any sense of the word. This &#8220;good news&#8221; comes especially to members of eLanka, from someone who could be trusted to &#8220;enliven&#8221; the lives of mainly Lankan\/Aussies, plus many Lankan\/Pommies, plus ANY Lankans, anywhere, who are feeling a bit despondent at all. I refrain from divulging the name of this crazy person, and will leave it to my many readers to figure out who it is.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"color: #0000ff; font-size: 20px;\">There is a well-known &#8220;quote&#8221; that tells us that ALWAYS !<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #0000ff; font-size: 20px;\">&#8220;A Woman comes first, even to the gallows&#8221;. I firmly believe this, only, this time, it&#8217;s a COW we are talking about.<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #0000ff; font-size: 20px;\">In the Land that breeds a hell of a lot of Cows,&#8221;Knickers&#8221; is a<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #0000ff; font-size: 20px;\">COW, NOW, in the news. &#8220;HOW NOW&#8221; ?, you ask. It is certainly not a silly question, my friends. This lady Cow is a Holstein-Friesian beauty, born in W.Australia on the 27th November, 2011, (it was a Caesarian-section, I believe), so she has just celebrated her 7th birthday, as the West Australian Abattoirs cannot seem to handle such a large Cow. (I do not blame them). How did she get this endearing name ?. Ask a silly question and you&#8217;ll get a silly answer.<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #0000ff; font-size: 20px;\">Sweet Knicker&#8217;s owner had Knicker&#8217;s mother play around with a BULL named &#8220;BRA&#8221; (which was short for Brahman, I suppose, but Knicker&#8217;s owner was thinking about other more interesting things than a common Brahman bull, thus the consequences). Knickers weighs in at nearly 1.400 kilograms, stands at almost 6&#8217;4&#8243; tall, only slightly shorter than Michael Jordon who, as everyone knows, or should know, is 6&#8217;12&#8221; tall, and now stands (Knickers, that is), as a bodyguard for all the other cattle on this Myalup farm, owned by a lucky farmer by the name of Geoff Pearson.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"color: #0000ff; font-size: 20px;\">So much for beautiful Knickers (if I say so, myself), but my story does not end there. Although they are now featuring this &#8220;breaking news&#8221; with a COW of a tale, ONLY readers of eLanka will now be introduced post haste, to<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #0000ff; font-size: 20px;\">Field Marshall, a giant BULL OF BRITAIN. This Charlois British Bull, 4 years older than Knickers, about 2 tonne in weight and standing 6&#8217;4&#8243; tall (slightly shorter than Knickers, because, as one grows older, one grows shorter, and don&#8217;t I know it ?), was given the rank of &#8220;Field Marshall&#8221; for some reason, but no name, and so, in my wisdom, I have decided to call him KNACKERS, simply because, with the enormous distance between them, KNACKERS would NEVER be able to get into KNICKERS, and should not, if you know what I mean. &#8220;Tough Titties&#8221;, as the late Bhagwan&#8217;s Sheela (based on the Sanskrit name), would say. What a lot of BULL ?!!!.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/Desmond-Kelly-9.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-29910\" src=\"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/Desmond-Kelly-9.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"125\" height=\"178\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<div dir=\"auto\"><span style=\"font-size: 20px; color: #0000ff;\">Desmond Kelly.<\/span><\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\"><span style=\"font-size: 20px; color: #0000ff;\">(Editor-in-Chief)<\/span><\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\">\n<div class=\"story-content\">\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\"><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;WHAT A LOT OF BULL&#8221;? &#8211; By Des Kelly We have some &#8220;BREAKING NEWS&#8221; which is not just &#8220;bull&#8221; in any sense of the word. This &#8220;good news&#8221; comes especially to members of eLanka, from someone who could be trusted to &#8220;enliven&#8221; the lives of mainly Lankan\/Aussies, plus many Lankan\/Pommies, plus ANY Lankans, anywhere, who [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":31256,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"aside","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20,1104],"tags":[5347],"class_list":{"0":"post-31252","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-aside","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-articles","8":"category-desmond-kelly","9":"tag-what-a-lot-of-bull","10":"post_format-post-format-aside"},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v25.7.1 (Yoast SEO v25.9) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>&quot;WHAT A LOT OF BULL&quot;? - By Des Kelly<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"We have some &quot;BREAKING NEWS&quot; which is not just &quot;bull&quot; in any sense of the word. 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