{"id":37506,"date":"2019-08-04T06:18:26","date_gmt":"2019-08-04T06:18:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/?p=37506"},"modified":"2021-12-06T08:43:58","modified_gmt":"2021-12-06T08:43:58","slug":"who-thinks-this-stuff-up-by-des-kelly","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/who-thinks-this-stuff-up-by-des-kelly\/","title":{"rendered":"Who thinks this stuff up! &#8211; By Des Kelly"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h1 style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #fa0ae2;\">Who thinks this stuff up! &#8211; By Des Kelly<\/span><\/h1>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #800000;\">English has always been a strange, but interesting language. In this particular instance, the prose is solely intended for readers to have a bit of fun, with. From time to time, quotes such as these have come into Facebook, quite a few, not fit to be published, because of the coarse &#8220;lingo&#8221;involved. As everyone knows, or should know, this writer has never been a &#8220;wowser&#8221;, swears with the best of them, and will write &#8220;HARD&#8221;, when I have to, but somehow, do not like to see epithets, four letter words etc., in print.<\/span><\/p>\n<div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #800000;\">\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0eLanka readers especially, deserve better, and in this article, &#8220;Who thinks this stuff up&#8221;, they get it, much better than an article titled &#8220;Who thinks this is A stuff-up, I suppose.<\/span><\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\"><img loading=\"lazy\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-29910 aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/Desmond-Kelly-9.jpg\" alt=\"Desmond Kelly\" width=\"125\" height=\"178\" \/><\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\">\n<div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: center;\">\u00a0<span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #800000;\">Desmond Kelly.<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #800000;\">\u00a0(Editor-in-Chief) eLanka.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\"><\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\">\n<div id=\"x_602515858m_7516816027000781638m_8622436368802574911m_5531121017404573213m_8848239280946417982x_m_3238842881326783613x_m_-6621432624728692601ydp58a32765yiv5628079279m_4934072320519624990yiv6627056652m_1058541381029378449m_916656108129757278m_9202550204424752496m_9074960524846142326m_1333874739253200844m_581343151796873552yiv4864292081aolmail_m_-5241295279486721875m_-463913653279672344m_-1117344482792222499m_6628504945270648375yiv0789066609mod_EDI_TEXT_AREA\">\n<div id=\"x_602515858m_7516816027000781638m_8622436368802574911m_5531121017404573213m_8848239280946417982x_m_3238842881326783613x_m_-6621432624728692601ydp58a32765yiv5628079279m_4934072320519624990yiv6627056652m_1058541381029378449m_916656108129757278m_9202550204424752496m_9074960524846142326m_1333874739253200844m_581343151796873552yiv4864292081yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1491471555394_10627\">\n<div id=\"x_602515858m_7516816027000781638m_8622436368802574911m_5531121017404573213m_8848239280946417982x_m_3238842881326783613x_m_-6621432624728692601ydp58a32765yiv5628079279m_4934072320519624990yiv6627056652m_1058541381029378449m_916656108129757278m_9202550204424752496m_9074960524846142326m_1333874739253200844m_581343151796873552yiv4864292081yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1491471555394_10626\">\n<div id=\"x_602515858m_7516816027000781638m_8622436368802574911m_5531121017404573213m_8848239280946417982x_m_3238842881326783613x_m_-6621432624728692601ydp58a32765yiv5628079279m_4934072320519624990yiv6627056652m_1058541381029378449m_916656108129757278m_9202550204424752496m_9074960524846142326m_1333874739253200844m_581343151796873552yiv4864292081yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1491471555394_10625\">\n<div id=\"x_602515858m_7516816027000781638m_8622436368802574911m_5531121017404573213m_8848239280946417982x_m_3238842881326783613x_m_-6621432624728692601ydp58a32765yiv5628079279m_4934072320519624990yiv6627056652m_1058541381029378449m_916656108129757278m_9202550204424752496m_9074960524846142326m_1333874739253200844m_581343151796873552yiv4864292081yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1491471555394_10624\">\n<div id=\"x_602515858m_7516816027000781638m_8622436368802574911m_5531121017404573213m_8848239280946417982x_m_3238842881326783613x_m_-6621432624728692601ydp58a32765yiv5628079279m_4934072320519624990yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1509295945478_4982\">\n<h1 class=\"x_602515858m_7516816027000781638m8622436368802574911m5531121017404573213m8848239280946417982xm3238842881326783613xmsonormal\" style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #cc99ff;\"><strong>Who thinks this stuff up?<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #800000;\">\u2022 Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #800000;\">\u2022 How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #800000;\">\u2022 England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #800000;\">\u2022 I tried to catch some fog, but I mist<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #800000;\">\u2022 They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Typo.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #800000;\">\u2022 I changed my iPod&#8217;s name to Titanic. It&#8217;s syncing now.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #800000;\">\u2022 Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #800000;\">\u2022 I know a guy who&#8217;s addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #800000;\">any time.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #800000;\">\u2022 I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #800000;\">on me.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #800000;\">\u2022 This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I&#8217;d<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #800000;\">never met herbivore.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #800000;\">\u2022 When chemists die, they barium.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #800000;\">\u2022 I&#8217;m reading a book about antigravity. I just can&#8217;t put it down..<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #800000;\">\u2022 I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #800000;\">\u2022 Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #800000;\">\u2022 I didn&#8217;t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #800000;\">\u2022 Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #800000;\">she couldn&#8217;t control her pupils?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #800000;\">\u2022 When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #800000;\">\u2022 Broken pencils are pointless.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #800000;\">\u2022 What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #800000;\">thesaurus.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #800000;\">\u2022 I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #800000;\">\u2022 I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #800000;\">\u2022 Velcro: what a rip off!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #800000;\">\u2022 Don&#8217;t worry about old age; it doesn&#8217;t last.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp; Who thinks this stuff up! &#8211; By Des Kelly English has always been a strange, but interesting language. In this particular instance, the prose is solely intended for readers to have a bit of fun, with. From time to time, quotes such as these have come into Facebook, quite a few, not fit to [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"aside","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20,1104],"tags":[7202,8154,8155],"class_list":{"0":"post-37506","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-aside","6":"category-articles","7":"category-desmond-kelly","8":"tag-england","9":"tag-english","10":"tag-facebook","11":"post_format-post-format-aside"},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v25.7.1 (Yoast SEO v25.9) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Who thinks this stuff up! - By Des Kelly<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"English has always been a strange, but interesting language. 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