{"id":39477,"date":"2019-11-01T08:00:17","date_gmt":"2019-11-01T08:00:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/?p=39477"},"modified":"2021-12-15T04:09:35","modified_gmt":"2021-12-15T04:09:35","slug":"quotable-quotes-by-des-kelly","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/quotable-quotes-by-des-kelly\/","title":{"rendered":"&#8220;QUOTABLE QUOTES&#8221; \u2013 By Des Kelly"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h1 style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #990cf7;\"> &#8220;QUOTABLE QUOTES&#8221; \u2013 By Des Kelly<\/span><\/h1>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/1tA7E7pbUws\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #000000;\">Above, is something in the English Language that has always interested me. Exactly as the fact that a &#8220;song&#8221; is simply &#8220;a condensed story&#8221;, quotes, as Samuel Beckett one wrote, are simply &#8220;wise words, witty words, weird words, written and spoken by the famous and the fashionable, over the last few decades&#8221;. Always interesting, they make for quick uncluttered reading, and while I intend writing some of the best, for our members and readers of eLanka, let us start with some &#8220;truisms&#8221; below, to whet your appetite.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-29910 aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/Desmond-Kelly-9.jpg\" alt=\"Desmond Kelly\" width=\"125\" height=\"178\" \/><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #000000;\">Desmond Kelly.<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #000000;\">(Editor-in-Chief)&#8211;eLanka.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h1 style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><b>Truisms<\/b><\/span><\/h1>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #000080;\">-If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they&#8217;d eventually find me attractive.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #000080;\">-I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom, until they&#8217;re flashing behind you.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #000080;\">-Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #000080;\">-I changed my password to &#8220;incorrect&#8221; so whenever I forget it the computer will say, &#8220;Your password is incorrect.&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #000080;\">-Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #000080;\">-I&#8217;m great at multi-tasking&#8211;I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #000080;\">-If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #000080;\">-Never tell your problems to anyone, because 20 percent don&#8217;t care and the other 80 percent are glad you have them.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #000080;\">-Doesn&#8217;t expecting the unexpected mean that the unexpected is actually expected?<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #000080;\">-Take my advice I&#8217;m not using it.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #000080;\">-I hate it when people use big words just to make themselves sound perspicacious.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #000080;\">-Hospitality is the art of making guests feel like they&#8217;re at home when you wish they were.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #000080;\">-Television may insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #000080;\">-I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago and so far all it&#8217;s been doing is gathering dust.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #000080;\">-Every time someone comes up with a foolproof solution, along comes a more-talented fool.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #000080;\">-I&#8217;ll bet you $4,567 you can&#8217;t guess how much I owe my bookie.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #000080;\">-Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #000080;\">-If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you&#8217;ll have trouble putting on your pants.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #000080;\">-A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #000080;\">-Ever stop to think and forget to start again?<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #000080;\">-When I married Ms. Right, I had no idea her first name was Always.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #000080;\">-My wife got 8 out 10 on her driver&#8217;s test&#8211;the other two guys managed to jump out of her way.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #000080;\">-There may be no excuse for laziness, but I&#8217;m still looking.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #000080;\">-Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #000080;\">-Give me ambiguity or give me something else.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #000080;\">-He who laughs last thinks slowest.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #000080;\">-Is it wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly?<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #000080;\">-Women sometimes make fools of men, but most guys are the do-it-yourself type.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #000080;\">-I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #000080;\">-Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #000080;\">-The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you don&#8217;t have to mow it.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #000080;\">-I like long walks, especially when they&#8217;re taken by people who annoy me.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #000080;\">-I was going to wear my camouflage shirt today, but I couldn&#8217;t find it.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #000080;\">-If at first you don&#8217;t succeed, skydiving is not for you.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #000080;\">-Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #000080;\">-If tomatoes are technically a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie?<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #000080;\">-Money is the root of all wealth.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #000080;\">-No matter how much you push the envelope, it&#8217;ll still be stationery.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp; &#8220;QUOTABLE QUOTES&#8221; \u2013 By Des Kelly &nbsp; Above, is something in the English Language that has always interested me. Exactly as the fact that a &#8220;song&#8221; is simply &#8220;a condensed story&#8221;, quotes, as Samuel Beckett one wrote, are simply &#8220;wise words, witty words, weird words, written and spoken by the famous and the fashionable, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":39479,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"aside","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20,1104],"tags":[9077,9078],"class_list":{"0":"post-39477","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-aside","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-articles","8":"category-desmond-kelly","9":"tag-english-language","10":"tag-truisms","11":"post_format-post-format-aside"},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v25.7.1 (Yoast SEO v25.9) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>&quot;QUOTABLE QUOTES&quot; \u2013 By Des Kelly<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Above, is something in the English Language that has always interested me. 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