{"id":43085,"date":"2020-03-28T08:17:56","date_gmt":"2020-03-28T08:17:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/?p=43085"},"modified":"2021-12-15T02:59:44","modified_gmt":"2021-12-15T02:59:44","slug":"australian-tourist-advice","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/australian-tourist-advice\/","title":{"rendered":"Australian tourist advice"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h1 style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Australian tourist advice<\/span><\/h1>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 20px; color: #800000;\"><b>eLanka Comedy\u2026..<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-35504\" src=\"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/eLanka_comedy.jpg\" alt=\"eLanka_comedy\" width=\"500\" height=\"400\" \/><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #f2059f;\"><strong>These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials,<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #f2059f;\"><strong>who obviously have a great sense of humour (not to mention a low tolerance threshold for cretins<u>!<\/u>)<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 24px;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong>Q:<\/strong><\/span>\u00a0<span style=\"color: #0000ff;\"><em><strong>Does it ever get windy in Australia?\u00a0 I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow?\u00a0 (<\/strong><\/em><em><strong>UK<\/strong><\/em><em><strong>).<\/strong><\/em><em><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><strong><em><br \/>\n<\/em><\/strong><\/span><strong><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #000000;\">A<\/span><\/strong><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0<strong>We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.<\/strong>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong>Q:<\/strong><\/span>\u00a0<strong><span style=\"color: #0000ff;\"><em>Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street?\u00a0 (<\/em><em>USA<\/em><em>)<\/em><\/span><\/strong><\/span><!--more--><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px;\"><strong><span style=\"color: #000000;\">A:<\/span><\/strong><span style=\"color: #000000;\">\u00a0<strong>Depends how much you&#8217;ve been drinking.<\/strong>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong>Q:<\/strong><\/span>\u00a0<span style=\"color: #0000ff;\"><em><strong>I want to walk from Perth to Sydney &#8211; can I follow the railroad tracks?\u00a0 (<\/strong><\/em><em><strong>Sweden<\/strong><\/em><em><strong>)<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; color: #000000;\"><strong>A:<\/strong>\u00a0<strong>Sure, it&#8217;s only three thousand miles, take lots of water.\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><strong><br \/>\n<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 24px;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong>Q:<\/strong><\/span>\u00a0<span style=\"color: #0000ff;\"><em><strong>Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia?\u00a0 Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville, and Hervey Bay?\u00a0 (<\/strong><\/em><em><strong>UK<\/strong><\/em><em><strong>)<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px;\"><strong><span style=\"color: #000000;\">A:<\/span><\/strong><span style=\"color: #000000;\">\u00a0<strong>What did your last slave die of?<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 24px;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong>(USA)<\/strong><strong>\u00a0Q<\/strong>:\u00a0<\/span><span style=\"color: #0000ff;\"><em><strong>Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia?<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 24px;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong>A<\/strong>:<\/span>\u00a0<span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong>A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of\u00a0Europe.\u00a0<\/strong><strong><br \/>\nAus-tra-lia\u00a0is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not<br \/>\n&#8230; oh forget it.\u00a0 Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross.\u00a0 Come naked.<\/strong>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong>Q:<\/strong>\u00a0<\/span><span style=\"color: #0000ff;\"><em><strong>Which direction is North in Australia?\u00a0 (<\/strong><\/em><em><strong>USA<\/strong><\/em><em><strong>)<\/strong><\/em><\/span><strong><br \/>\n<\/strong><\/span><strong><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #000000; font-size: 24px;\">A<\/span><\/strong><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><span style=\"font-size: 24px;\"><strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0<strong>Face south and then turn 180 degrees.\u00a0 Contact us when you get here and we&#8217;ll send the rest of the directions.<br \/>\n<\/strong><\/span><strong><br \/>\n<\/strong><\/span><span style=\"font-size: 24px;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong>Q:<\/strong>\u00a0<\/span><span style=\"color: #0000ff;\"><em><strong>Can I bring cutlery into Australia?\u00a0 (<\/strong><\/em><em><strong>UK<\/strong><\/em><em><strong>)<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px;\"><strong><span style=\"color: #000000;\">A:<\/span><\/strong><span style=\"color: #000000;\">\u00a0<strong>Why?\u00a0 Just use your fingers like we do&#8230;<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong>Q:<\/strong><\/span>\u00a0<span style=\"color: #0000ff;\"><em><strong>Can you send me the Vienna Boys&#8217; Choir schedule?\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><em><strong>(<\/strong><\/em><strong><em>USA<\/em><\/strong>)<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong>A<\/strong>:\u00a0<strong>Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><strong><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #000000;\">oh,\u00a0forget it.\u00a0 Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races.\u00a0 Come naked.\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px;\"><strong><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Q:<\/span>\u00a0<\/strong><span style=\"color: #0000ff;\"><em><strong>Can I wear high heels in Australia?\u00a0 (<\/strong><\/em><em><strong>UK<\/strong><\/em><em><strong>)<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px;\"><strong><span style=\"color: #000000;\">A:<\/span><\/strong><span style=\"color: #000000;\">\u00a0<strong>You\u00a0 are a British politician, right?<\/strong>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 24px;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong>Q:<\/strong>\u00a0<\/span><span style=\"color: #0000ff;\"><em><strong>Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (<\/strong><\/em><em><strong>Germany<\/strong><\/em><em><strong>)<br \/>\n<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/span><span style=\"font-size: 24px;\"><strong><span style=\"color: #000000;\">A:\u00a0 No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter\/gatherers.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><u><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Milk is illegal<\/span><\/u><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong>Q:<\/strong>\u00a0<\/span><strong><span style=\"color: #0000ff;\"><em>Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can Dispense rattlesnake serum. (<\/em><em>USA<\/em><em>)<\/em><\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px;\"><strong><span style=\"color: #000000;\">A:\u00a0 Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.\u00a0<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #000000;\">All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 24px;\"><strong><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Q: <\/span><span style=\"color: #0000ff;\"><em>I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name.\u00a0 It&#8217;s a kind of bear and lives in trees.\u00a0 (<\/em><em>USA<\/em><em>)<\/em><\/span><\/strong><\/span><strong><br \/>\n<\/strong><strong><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #000000; font-size: 24px;\">A<\/span><\/strong><span style=\"font-size: 24px;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong>:\u00a0 It&#8217;s called a Drop Bear.\u00a0 They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><strong><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #000000;\">You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 24px;\"><strong><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Q:<\/span><\/strong>\u00a0<span style=\"color: #0000ff;\"><strong><em>I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth.\u00a0 Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia?\u00a0 (<\/em><em>USA<\/em><em>)<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px;\"><strong><span style=\"color: #000000;\">A:\u00a0 Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong><span style=\"font-size: 24px;\">Q:<\/span><\/strong><\/span>\u00a0<span style=\"font-size: 24px;\"><span style=\"color: #0000ff;\"><strong><em>Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population?\u00a0 (<\/em><em>Italy<\/em><em>)<\/em><\/strong><strong><em><br \/>\n<\/em><\/strong><\/span><strong><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #000000;\">A<\/span><\/strong><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong>:\u00a0 Yes, gay night clubs.\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong>Q:<\/strong><\/span>\u00a0<strong><span style=\"color: #0000ff;\"><em>Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia?\u00a0 (<\/em><em>France<\/em><em>)<\/em><\/span><em><br \/>\n<\/em><\/strong><strong><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #000000;\">A<\/span><\/strong><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong>:\u00a0 Only at Christmas.<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px;\"><strong><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Q:<\/span>\u00a0<\/strong><span style=\"color: #0000ff;\"><em><strong>Will I be able to speak English most places I go?\u00a0 (<\/strong><\/em><strong><em>USA<\/em><\/strong><strong>)<\/strong><\/span><strong><br \/>\n<\/strong><strong><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #000000;\">A<\/span><\/strong><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong>:\u00a0 Yes, but you&#8217;ll have to learn it first.<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp; &nbsp; Australian tourist advice eLanka Comedy\u2026.. These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a great sense of humour (not to mention a low tolerance threshold for cretins!) Q:\u00a0Does it ever get windy in Australia?\u00a0 I have never seen it [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":35504,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"aside","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[15011],"class_list":{"0":"post-43085","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-aside","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-articles","8":"tag-australian-tourist-advice","9":"post_format-post-format-aside"},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v25.7.1 (Yoast SEO v25.9) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Australian tourist advice<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials,\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta 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