{"id":43578,"date":"2020-04-17T15:24:48","date_gmt":"2020-04-17T15:24:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/?p=43578"},"modified":"2021-12-19T09:46:31","modified_gmt":"2021-12-19T09:46:31","slug":"the-wonder-of-ponderisms-by-des-kelly","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/the-wonder-of-ponderisms-by-des-kelly\/","title":{"rendered":"“THE WONDER OF PONDERISMS” \u2013 By Des Kelly"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00a0“THE WONDER OF PONDERISMS”\u00a0\u2013 By Des Kelly<\/span><\/h1>\n

\n

\u00a0 If my memory serves me correctly, this is the 2nd batch of Ponderisms that I have served up for all readers of<\/span><\/p>\n

eLanka. Anyway, for the want of something to do, rather than be in lockdown, constantly hearing the word Corona-Virus on television, where before, we were inundated with words such as unprecedented and catastrophic, I do suggest that our good readers become even slightly more educated by digesting this important information.<\/span><\/p>\n

PONDERISMS<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?<\/strong>?<\/span><\/p>\n

Why do you have to “put your two cents in”… but it’s only a “penny for your thoughts”? Where’s that extra penny going?<\/strong>(taxes)<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

What disease did cured ham actually have?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up like every two hours?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Why do doctors leave the room while you change??? They’re going to see you naked anyway.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Why is “bra” singular and “panties” plural?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

HOW DID THE MAN WHO MADE THE FIRST CLOCK, KNOW WHAT TIME IT WAS?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\"Desmond<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Desmond Kelly.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0(Editor-in-Chief)\u00a0 eLanka.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0“THE WONDER OF PONDERISMS”\u00a0\u2013 By Des Kelly \u00a0 If my memory serves me correctly, this is the 2nd batch of Ponderisms that I have served up for all readers of eLanka. Anyway, for the want of something to do, rather than be in lockdown, constantly hearing the word Corona-Virus on television, where before, we were […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":43580,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"aside","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20,1104],"tags":[13971,16669],"class_list":{"0":"post-43578","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-aside","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-articles","8":"category-desmond-kelly","9":"tag-corona-virus","10":"tag-lockdown","11":"post_format-post-format-aside"},"yoast_head":"\n"THE WONDER OF PONDERISMS" \u2013 By Des Kelly<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"If my memory serves me correctly, this is the 2nd batch of Ponderisms that I have served up for all readers of eLanka. 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