{"id":50268,"date":"2020-09-20T07:19:29","date_gmt":"2020-09-20T07:19:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/?p=50268"},"modified":"2021-12-24T11:26:39","modified_gmt":"2021-12-24T11:26:39","slug":"britspeak-by-des-kelly","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/britspeak-by-des-kelly\/","title":{"rendered":"\u201cBRITSPEAK\u201d &#8211; By Des Kelly"},"content":{"rendered":"<h1 style=\"font-weight: 400; text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #e813d3;\">\u201cBRITSPEAK\u201d &#8211; By Des Kelly<\/span><\/h1>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/NK1Vrur_ewM\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400; text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 20px; color: #000080;\">An excellent one-word title for an excellent topic.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 20px; color: #000080;\">After everything is said and done, English IS the very best<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 20px; color: #000080;\">International Language around, and has been, for quite a while now. Correct English has been given an alias, naming it &#8220;The Queen&#8217;s English&#8221;. My guess is that this alias refers to Her Majesty Queen Victoria, former Empress of India and Regent of the Commonwealth of Nations, covering a large percent of the World&#8217;s Countries, including HUGE Australia and TINY Ceylon (then), Sri Lanka (now), before both India and Ceylon gained their independence in 1948.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 20px; color: #000080;\">\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Getting back to the subject in hand, it is most disappointing to note that, no matter what *BRITSPEAK* has to say on the matter, and taking just one example, to avoid writing a book about Her Majesty&#8217;s language, let us now delve into the word LABOUR.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 20px; color: #000080;\">We have two major Political Parties in Australia at the moment. One is the Liberal Party and the other is the Labor Party.\u00a0 This is only my opinion of course, but Australia IS still a major part of the Commonwealth, and this second Political Party should have been LABOUR, spelled the English way, and not LABOR, spelled the Republican American way. For some unknown reason, the Americans seem to have taken a dislike to the letter &#8220;U&#8221;.\u00a0 I really do not know Y, but U&#8217;ll have to tell me.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 20px; color: #000080;\">\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 To make a very long story very short, I will condense my feelings about ORIGINAL ENGLISH, strange as it is, sometimes, by saying &#8220;Someone killed correct English, tore out it&#8217;s heart and soul, they got away with murder, now, they&#8217;re in a hole&#8221;. Please listen to the song that accompanies this interesting story, and you will understand what I am trying to tell you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-29910 aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/Desmond-Kelly-9.jpg\" alt=\"Desmond Kelly\" width=\"125\" height=\"178\" \/><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">\u00a0 <span style=\"font-size: 20px; color: #000080;\">Desmond Kelly.<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: 20px; color: #000080;\">(Editor -in-Chief) eLanka.\u00a0 \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<div>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 20px; color: #000080;\"><b><span lang=\"EN-IN\">BRITSPEAK<\/span><\/b><u><\/u><u><\/u><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 20px; color: #000080;\"><i><span lang=\"EN-IN\">Why do the British like using excess letters (for example, \u2018colour\u2019 instead of \u2018color\u2019, \u2018cheque\u2019 instead of \u2018check\u2019, \u2018analogue\u2019 instead of \u2018analog\u2019, etc.)?<\/span><\/i><u><\/u><u><\/u><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 20px; color: #000080;\"><b><span lang=\"EN-IN\">By Gregory Till<\/span><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p><span lang=\"EN-IN\" style=\"font-size: 20px; color: #000080;\">It\u2019s a big secret. People outside the UK aren\u2019t generally informed of this, but in the interests of education, truth and beauty, here we go.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p><span lang=\"EN-IN\" style=\"font-size: 20px; color: #000080;\">The English language is not, technically, a language. It is difficult to define what it is, but the best description is that it is the absolute pinnacle of psychological warfare. I know that sounds crazy, but bear with me.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p><span lang=\"EN-IN\" style=\"font-size: 20px; color: #000080;\">You see, England kept being invaded and the English couldn\u2019t do a damned thing about it. First the Romans, then the Angles and the Saxons and the Jutes, then the Vikings. Terrible business! The last straw was the Normans; although they were Vikings they lived in France. That was just too close for comfort, I mean, being invaded by the French\u2026 Unthinkable!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<div>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span lang=\"EN-IN\" style=\"font-size: 20px; color: #000080;\">But how could the British people fight back? That\u2019s when they had a wonderful idea. They decided to make a language so confusing, so utterly, incomprehensibly, unimaginably, painfully stupid that it would melt the brain of literally everyone in the world who was a native speaker of a sensible language. And so, they got cracking.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 20px; color: #000080; background-color: #ffff00;\"><span lang=\"EN-IN\">That is why knight is spelt with a K. Do you<\/span><span lang=\"EN-IN\">\u00a0<\/span><span lang=\"EN-IN\">pronounce the K? No &#8211; don\u2019t be silly! Why is gnome spelt with a G? Precisely because it<\/span><span lang=\"EN-IN\">\u00a0<\/span><span lang=\"EN-IN\">shouldn\u2019t be spelt with a G. That\u2019s the beauty of it, don\u2019t you see?<\/span><span lang=\"EN-IN\">\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<div>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span lang=\"EN-IN\" style=\"font-size: 20px; color: #000080;\">But try not to be too much of a wreck; not just yet anyway. Silent letters were just the start of it and I\u2019m not even counting the magic E we stuck on half the words, just to confuse things. We haven\u2019t got to get into that &#8211; sorry, haven\u2019t got the time.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p><span lang=\"EN-IN\" style=\"font-size: 20px; color: #000080;\">Why do we spell \u201cdoughnut\u201d the way we do, only to not actually pronounce 3\/8ths. of the letters? Well, just to see foreigners go cross-eyed, basically.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p><span lang=\"EN-IN\" style=\"font-size: 20px; color: #000080;\">The plural of tooth is teeth, and the plural of foot is feet, and the plural of goose is geese. So why is \u201csheep\u201d singular? Why not \u201cone shoop, two sheep\u201d? And what\u2019s the plural of moose? Also moose. Are you weeping yet? Well, we\u2019re not done.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p><span lang=\"EN-IN\" style=\"font-size: 20px; color: #000080;\">Why are \u201cwind\u201d and \u201cwind\u201d spelt the same, when they sound different? And why does \u201cwind\u201d rhyme with \u201cbinned\u201d? Why do the letters \u201cough\u201d sound the same in \u201cenough\u201d and \u201ctough\u201d, but different in \u201cthough\u201d, and \u201cthought\u201d, and \u201cbough\u201d?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p><span lang=\"EN-IN\" style=\"font-size: 20px; color: #000080;\">We even carried this over to our place names. Why is \u201cLondon\u201d spelt that way when we actually say \u201cLun-dun\u201d? Makes it harder for invaders to find, you see.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p><span lang=\"EN-IN\" style=\"font-size: 20px; color: #000080;\">Here\u2019s an experiment. Try to pronounce the following &#8211; don\u2019t worry, I put the pronunciations in the next paragraph to help you. But try them out yourself first.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p><span lang=\"EN-IN\" style=\"font-size: 20px; color: #000080;\">Here we go:<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 20px; color: #000080;\"><span lang=\"EN-IN\">Worcestershire, Leicester, Middlesborough, Hunstanton,<\/span><u><\/u><u><\/u><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p><span lang=\"EN-IN\" style=\"font-size: 20px; color: #000080;\">Magdalen College, Leominster, Godmanchester, and Loughborough.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p><span lang=\"EN-IN\" style=\"font-size: 20px; color: #000080;\">Now here\u2019s how you should say them:<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 20px; color: #000080;\"><span lang=\"EN-IN\">Woos-tuh-shur,<\/span><u><\/u><u><\/u><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 20px; color: #000080;\"><span lang=\"EN-IN\">Lest-uh,\u00a0<\/span><u><\/u><u><\/u><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 20px; color: #000080;\"><span lang=\"EN-IN\">Mid-ulls-bru,\u00a0<\/span><u><\/u><u><\/u><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 20px; color: #000080;\"><span lang=\"EN-IN\">Hun-ston,\u00a0<\/span><u><\/u><u><\/u><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 20px; color: #000080;\"><span lang=\"EN-IN\">Mord-lin College, Lem-ster,\u00a0<\/span><u><\/u><u><\/u><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p><span lang=\"EN-IN\" style=\"font-size: 20px; color: #000080;\">Gum-ster, and Luff-bru.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p><span lang=\"EN-IN\" style=\"font-size: 20px; color: #000080;\">So, how did you do? Most non-British people I\u2019ve met &#8211; unless they\u2019re Anglophiles &#8211; do quite badly. I mean, try going up to someone on a railway platform and asking to go to \u201cLowg-buh-ruh\u201d. People will look at you like you had broken into their house on Christmas morning and defecated on the parlour rug. But don\u2019t be ashamed &#8211; that\u2019s sort of the point.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p><span lang=\"EN-IN\" style=\"font-size: 20px; color: #000080;\">In World War Two, when we thought the Germans might invade, we took down all the road signs. The Germans found out, knew they\u2019d have to rely on asking people for directions and abandoned their plans to invade that same day. Having to actually talk to English people\u2026 Nein danke!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p><span lang=\"EN-IN\" style=\"font-size: 20px; color: #000080;\">Even the \u2018helpful rules\u2019 we came up with to explain English don\u2019t actually work. \u201cI before E, except after C\u201d, they say. Is that actually correct? Not really, see \u201creceipt\u201d, or \u201cneighbour\u201d, or \u201csleigh\u201d. Actually, more words ignore that rule than follow it. So, why have the rule? To screw with people\u2019s minds, of course.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p><span lang=\"EN-IN\" style=\"font-size: 20px; color: #000080;\">The thing is, the whole experiment worked. Within a few centuries, the French either gave up and went home, or they succumbed to such levels of unrelenting insanity that they were incapable of being anything other than Civil Servants. No-one has dared invade the country since for fear we\u2019d try to speak to them.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p><span lang=\"EN-IN\" style=\"font-size: 20px; color: #000080;\">And all of that is before I get on to mentioning the fact that we have several hundred local dialects and accents in the country too. Britons can identify each other&#8217;s point of ethnic origin within two doors from their place of birth by their accent. Social stereotyping based on how one speaks English is the norm. It&#8217;s probably overkill, but as the basis for endemic discrimination and racial bias it seemed like a good idea originally.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p><span lang=\"EN-IN\" style=\"font-size: 20px; color: #000080;\">And don\u2019t get me started on the Welsh language. That is the nuclear deterrent of incomprehensible spelling, I\u2019m telling you. The Scots are not much better with \u201cKircudbright\u201d and \u201cEcclefechan\u201d.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p><span lang=\"EN-IN\" style=\"font-size: 20px; color: #000080;\">The point is, not only did we get people to stop invading Britain but the British were able to build an entire vast Empire on the back of this pig\u2019s breakfast of a language.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p><span lang=\"EN-IN\" style=\"font-size: 20px; color: #000080;\">Most of the time, they would just send a long, rambling letter to the political elites of any particular country delivered in warships, gunboats and columns of heavily armed troops. A few days later, they would stagger out of their offices\/ palaces\/ long houses or mud huts, dazed and confused holding their complimentary copy of the Christian Bible, only half understanding that the letter was a courtesy, politely informing them that Britain would be running the country from now on \u2013 taxation and tariffs to follow. By the time their ears stopped ringing, the British had already built a dozen railways and it would be pretty damned rude to kick a chap out of a country once he had built you a railway, don\u2019t you think?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p><span lang=\"EN-IN\" style=\"font-size: 20px; color: #000080;\">Whole thing worked for centuries. They would ask us to leave, we would agree to be out by February and by the time the locals had worked out how to spell it, another fifty years had gone by \u2013 the revenue taxi-meter ticking all the while.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<p><span lang=\"EN-IN\" style=\"font-size: 20px; color: #000080;\">America rather screwed the pooch by trying to get the language to make sense, you see. They started simplifying the language, and as such, they have had dreadful trouble keeping people in line. People can actually deal with American simplified spellings and such, and so they aren\u2019t trying to drag themselves out of a fog of confusion during every diplomatic meeting. And even then, they\u2019re only dealing with the random extra letters. Imagine if you were a non-English speaker entering the Anglophone world cold and had to learn the entire salmagundi of English spelling from scratch?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span lang=\"EN-IN\" style=\"font-size: 20px; color: #000080;\">Like I said in the beginning, it\u2019s not simply a language, it is Psychological Warfare. I\u2019m surprised that Britain hasn\u2019t been indicted in the International Court of Justice in The Hague yet.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cBRITSPEAK\u201d &#8211; By Des Kelly &nbsp; An excellent one-word title for an excellent topic. After everything is said and done, English IS the very best International Language around, and has been, for quite a while now. Correct English has been given an alias, naming it &#8220;The Queen&#8217;s English&#8221;. My guess is that this alias refers [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":50270,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"aside","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20,1104],"tags":[29531,29532],"class_list":{"0":"post-50268","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-aside","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-articles","8":"category-desmond-kelly","9":"tag-gregory-till","10":"tag-magdalen-college","11":"post_format-post-format-aside"},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v25.7.1 (Yoast SEO v25.9) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>\u201cBRITSPEAK\u201d - By Des Kelly<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"An excellent one-word title for an excellent topic.After everything is said and done, English IS the very bestInternational Language around\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"\u201cBRITSPEAK\u201d - By Des Kelly\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"An excellent one-word title for an excellent topic.After everything is said and done, English IS the very bestInternational Language around\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/britspeak-by-des-kelly\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"eLanka\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/eLanka.com.au\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2020-09-20T07:19:29+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-12-24T11:26:39+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/britspeak-by-des-kelly.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"480\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"358\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"eLanka admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"eLanka admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"7 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/britspeak-by-des-kelly\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/britspeak-by-des-kelly\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"eLanka admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/#\/schema\/person\/f6e635b74ab35ef88a68a9973cacc5bd\"},\"headline\":\"\u201cBRITSPEAK\u201d &#8211; 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