{"id":72412,"date":"2021-08-28T06:16:09","date_gmt":"2021-08-28T06:16:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/?p=72412"},"modified":"2021-08-28T06:16:09","modified_gmt":"2021-08-28T06:16:09","slug":"wonderful-english-by-des-kelly-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/websitedesigns.com.au\/elankanew\/wonderful-english-by-des-kelly-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Wonderful English \u2013 by Des Kelly"},"content":{"rendered":"

Wonderful English \u2013 by Des Kelly<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

It has long been known as the TOP International Language around the World, and it is. However, it is also a rather difficult Language to master, in as much as it’s punctuation, pronunciation and presentation is concerned (there’s THREE difficulties for a start), nevertheless, in all it’s seriousness, it certainly has it’s funny moments, as our friend Keith Bennett has pointed out, in this “post” sent out to me, which in turn, I am happy to send out to all our wonderful e’Lanka members and readers. Please read this and coax out a chuckle or three, and thank you, Keith Bennett from both Neil and old me.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Desmond Kelly.<\/span><\/p>\n

(Editor-in-Chief)\u00a0 eLanka.<\/span><\/p>\n

Wonderful English from Around the World<\/span>
\n<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

\"Wonderful<\/p>\n

In a Bangkok Temple :<\/span>
\nIT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN.<\/span><\/p>\n

Cocktail lounge, Norway:<\/span>
\nLADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.<\/span><\/p>\n

Doctor’s office, Rome :<\/span>
\nSPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.<\/span><\/p>\n

Dry cleaners, Bangkok :<\/span>
\nDROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.<\/span><\/p>\n

In a Nairobi restaurant:<\/span>
\nCUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE, OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.<\/span><\/p>\n

On the main road to Mombasa , leaving Nairobi :<\/span>
\nTAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.<\/span><\/p>\n

On a poster at Kencom:<\/span>
\nARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP.<\/span><\/p>\n

In a City restaurant:<\/span>
\nOPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.<\/span><\/p>\n

In a Cemetery:<\/span>
\nPERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS, FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES ..<\/span><\/p>\n

Tokyo hotel’s rules and regulations:<\/span>
\nGUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE, OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.<\/span><\/p>\n

On the menu of a Swiss Restaurant:<\/span>
\nOUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.<\/span><\/p>\n

In a Tokyo Bar:<\/span>
\nSPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hotel, Yugoslavia:<\/span>
\nTHE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE, IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hotel, Japan:<\/span>
\nYOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.<\/span><\/p>\n

In the lobby of a Moscow Hotel, across from a Russian Orthodox Monastery:<\/span>
\nYOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY, WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET<\/span>
\nCOMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY, EXCEPT THURSDAY.<\/span><\/p>\n

A sign posted in Germany ‘s Black Forest :<\/span>
\nIT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE, THAT PEOPLE<\/span>
\nOF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE<\/span>
\nTENT, UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hotel, Zurich :<\/span>
\nBECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX<\/span>
\nIN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS<\/span>
\nPURPOSE.<\/span><\/p>\n

Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand :<\/span>
\nWOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?<\/span><\/p>\n

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen :<\/span>
\nWE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.<\/span><\/p>\n

A Laundry in Rome :<\/span>
\nLADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND THEN SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.<\/span><\/p>\n

Seen in an Abu Dhabi Souk shop window :<\/span><\/p>\n

IF THE FRONT IS CLOSED PLEASE ENTER THROUGH MY BACKSIDE\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Wonderful English \u2013 by Des Kelly It has long been known as the TOP International Language around the World, and it is. However, it is also a rather difficult Language to master, in as much as it’s punctuation, pronunciation and presentation is concerned (there’s THREE difficulties for a start), nevertheless, in all it’s seriousness, it […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":72413,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"aside","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20,1104],"tags":[759,36860,36861,36859],"class_list":{"0":"post-72412","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-aside","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-articles","8":"category-desmond-kelly","9":"tag-des-kelly","10":"tag-germany","11":"tag-international-language","12":"tag-wonderful-english","13":"post_format-post-format-aside"},"yoast_head":"\nWonderful English \u2013 by Des Kelly - eLanka<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"It has long been known as the TOP International Language around the World, and it is. 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